She sat by a large window.Her coffee ran cold.A book lay open on the table in front,but her mind was astray.
Tomorrow she was leaving this city.She was to go across the oceans to a new land.But tonight,all she could think of was,him.Her lost prince.
Her thoughts were often interrupted by the ring of her phone.Friends called to wish her well.She wound up the calls quickly.
Gently,she tended to the memory of their time together.She could recall every word they had interchanged.Any other person,if given the chance to read her mind,could have found their talks obscure,even stale at times,but to her, everything they had ever shared,seemed fresh.The thought of him,his ideas,his words, always made her smile.He had sometimes looked very matured,sometimes playful,sometimes liberal,sometimes radical,conservative,sometimes tough and other times completely vulnerable, totally innocent, just like a child.
She was living over their togetherness,at this coffee shop,for the last time.
It had been months since she saw him,and yet,if she closed her eyes,he stood right there before her.
When they had first met at this coffee shop,he looked very familiar,but back then,she couldn't remember where she had seen him before.Long after,she pondered over this,till one evening she realized why.
He reminded her of Michelangelo's David.
He had left her,and gone far away,to a fairy,yet,did she long for him?Yes,she admitted to herself.
In her mind,she had been fighting to forget him and to her dismay,found that could not be.It had taken her long to reconcile,to be at peace with herself and at the same time be happy for him.Today was to be her final act of balancing.
After midnight ,she left the shop,went back to her bed lined with silk,and slept a peaceful sleep.
Next morning the sun rose over her troubles.She woke to a fresh start.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
January
Why is January so special?
One, because thats when my sister travels back home sometimes.
Two,we have the famous book-fair ,plus so many other fairs and travelling circuses coming to our city.
Three,the first day in January always starts with a celebration,the year begins with new hopes,fresh aspirations,the disappointments of the year gone by,are buried.We start again,with renewed vitality.
The time reverberates youthfulness.No one goes through that month without being wished a happy year ahead,even strangers greet us sometimes.We too smile and return the greeting.
January brings the city to life.
And on a certain day in January,he had come into my life.
One, because thats when my sister travels back home sometimes.
Two,we have the famous book-fair ,plus so many other fairs and travelling circuses coming to our city.
Three,the first day in January always starts with a celebration,the year begins with new hopes,fresh aspirations,the disappointments of the year gone by,are buried.We start again,with renewed vitality.
The time reverberates youthfulness.No one goes through that month without being wished a happy year ahead,even strangers greet us sometimes.We too smile and return the greeting.
January brings the city to life.
And on a certain day in January,he had come into my life.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Surreal
For a long time,I argued with my friend about this movie 'Avatar'.
The movie,by James Cameron, is about a wheel-chaired man,Jake Sully who replaces his brother in a mission on a distant moon,Pandora.At Pandora,Jake meets an army colonel and learns about a greedy corporate head,who connive to drive away the native humanoid "Na'vi", in order to mine for 'unobtanium',which is lavishly scattered beneath the tribal habitat .
What follows,is a fight between the extra-terrestrials and humans,that is,the good and the evil forces where ultimately the good,win.To my mind,for the first time in any movie,aliens have been represented as a 'good' force.
After watching this,I tried to convince my friend that James Cameron,had surely been inspired by the famous Ogoni Nine case.My friend refuted since the credits did not mention anything.
Maybe not exactly.But,there is a similarity in theme.After all,cinema is a reflection of reality.
But what if reality begins to reflect cinema?Nasty things coming a full circle?A bit disconcerting,to say the least.
Not too far from where I live,in nearby Orissa,at Niyamgiri hills,things may look very familiar to millions of Avatar fans.
A reputed company wishes to mine for bauxite in these hills.The government is willing to oblige with customary clearances.Our political as well as corporate leaders have agreed that only industrialization can provide the real path to salvation for this wretched country.
However,a small thorny bush has come in way of their envisioned path.
Niyamgiri hills are considered sacred by a certain Dongria Kondh tribe,an indigenous group inhabiting these wooded areas,so they are putting up a hard fight to safeguard their gods and livelihood from being blown up.
Our leaders,find the tribe's unyielding stubbornness, most retrograde to their own plans.
Ah,these people and their queer ways!What's a few hundred already miserable lives on the altar of progress?
Quite interestingly,the word progress has an asterisk mark.Its definition,too, is provided by the government.Interesting also,because in this dark age,men fight to keep Gods alive.
The plot thickens, now,since the government has unleashed CRPF (armed forces) on the tribal people and labelled them as terror-mongering Maoists.
There is no director,no screenplay,no special effect,no animation for this story.So unlike the movie,ultimately the spontaneity of the real-life actors will unfold the plot to us.And because this is not cinema,we are yet to know if good(in this case 'god') triumphs,we keep our fingers crossed,we hope for a win-win conclusion instead of a win-lose one.
Shah Rukh Khan was so right!Don't we all like "happy is ending"s?
The movie,by James Cameron, is about a wheel-chaired man,Jake Sully who replaces his brother in a mission on a distant moon,Pandora.At Pandora,Jake meets an army colonel and learns about a greedy corporate head,who connive to drive away the native humanoid "Na'vi", in order to mine for 'unobtanium',which is lavishly scattered beneath the tribal habitat .
What follows,is a fight between the extra-terrestrials and humans,that is,the good and the evil forces where ultimately the good,win.To my mind,for the first time in any movie,aliens have been represented as a 'good' force.
After watching this,I tried to convince my friend that James Cameron,had surely been inspired by the famous Ogoni Nine case.My friend refuted since the credits did not mention anything.
Maybe not exactly.But,there is a similarity in theme.After all,cinema is a reflection of reality.
But what if reality begins to reflect cinema?Nasty things coming a full circle?A bit disconcerting,to say the least.
Not too far from where I live,in nearby Orissa,at Niyamgiri hills,things may look very familiar to millions of Avatar fans.
A reputed company wishes to mine for bauxite in these hills.The government is willing to oblige with customary clearances.Our political as well as corporate leaders have agreed that only industrialization can provide the real path to salvation for this wretched country.
However,a small thorny bush has come in way of their envisioned path.
Niyamgiri hills are considered sacred by a certain Dongria Kondh tribe,an indigenous group inhabiting these wooded areas,so they are putting up a hard fight to safeguard their gods and livelihood from being blown up.
Our leaders,find the tribe's unyielding stubbornness, most retrograde to their own plans.
Ah,these people and their queer ways!What's a few hundred already miserable lives on the altar of progress?
Quite interestingly,the word progress has an asterisk mark.Its definition,too, is provided by the government.Interesting also,because in this dark age,men fight to keep Gods alive.
The plot thickens, now,since the government has unleashed CRPF (armed forces) on the tribal people and labelled them as terror-mongering Maoists.
There is no director,no screenplay,no special effect,no animation for this story.So unlike the movie,ultimately the spontaneity of the real-life actors will unfold the plot to us.And because this is not cinema,we are yet to know if good(in this case 'god') triumphs,we keep our fingers crossed,we hope for a win-win conclusion instead of a win-lose one.
Shah Rukh Khan was so right!Don't we all like "happy is ending"s?
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The last years of my teenage lay in my drawer.
I found a few things of interest in my drawer,when I opened it to look for a misplaced visiting card.
A mauve coloured envelope.My sister had written to me from USA after I had passed my first ever,public examination.She had sent me a very private,emotional letter and a cheque to buy a watch.As I hold the envelope I remember how I had treasured every word,and how violated I had felt when a nosey girl from my class,who had come to pick up some class-notes from me,sneaked into my room,opened this drawer labelled 'PRIVATE DO NOT TOUCH',and read this letter.I still have not forgiven her.
A table calendar.Custom made,with full blown photographs of me on every page.A surprise from my contentious boy.
An old bill,from a restaurant where we ate nine years ago.At a time when we slept in college dorm and could spare only 800 bucks for a whole month.This bill alone, read Rs.520,you can imagine what a rare luxury it was for us.He had taken me there,just as a surprise,without any occasion.That evening,as I sat there,I had felt no less than a princess.That is why,I had asked for the bill and after much persuasion,did he give it to me,to keep.
Another bill,this time the amount ran into thousands,was from an apparel store.I had bought him a dark coloured 'Sherwani',and he, a purple coloured 'Dhakai' saree.To do this,we both had to plan much in advance and save out of our meagre allowances.I still love to wear that first purple saree,although it is more than seven years old now.
A letter from mom.Written to me when she was abroad and I was going away from home,for the first time,to college.This was the only letter she ever wrote to me.We either talk over phone or in person.Nowadays she emails me too.
All of this happened almost a decade ago,and yet,it seems only yesterday.
A mauve coloured envelope.My sister had written to me from USA after I had passed my first ever,public examination.She had sent me a very private,emotional letter and a cheque to buy a watch.As I hold the envelope I remember how I had treasured every word,and how violated I had felt when a nosey girl from my class,who had come to pick up some class-notes from me,sneaked into my room,opened this drawer labelled 'PRIVATE DO NOT TOUCH',and read this letter.I still have not forgiven her.
A table calendar.Custom made,with full blown photographs of me on every page.A surprise from my contentious boy.
An old bill,from a restaurant where we ate nine years ago.At a time when we slept in college dorm and could spare only 800 bucks for a whole month.This bill alone, read Rs.520,you can imagine what a rare luxury it was for us.He had taken me there,just as a surprise,without any occasion.That evening,as I sat there,I had felt no less than a princess.That is why,I had asked for the bill and after much persuasion,did he give it to me,to keep.
Another bill,this time the amount ran into thousands,was from an apparel store.I had bought him a dark coloured 'Sherwani',and he, a purple coloured 'Dhakai' saree.To do this,we both had to plan much in advance and save out of our meagre allowances.I still love to wear that first purple saree,although it is more than seven years old now.
A letter from mom.Written to me when she was abroad and I was going away from home,for the first time,to college.This was the only letter she ever wrote to me.We either talk over phone or in person.Nowadays she emails me too.
All of this happened almost a decade ago,and yet,it seems only yesterday.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Wonder!
I have known her for a lifetime,though I am not overly aged,it has still been good many years.
She has always been very unorganized.Almost every morning,she turned up in a pair of unmatched socks at school.Always forgetful and very callous about keeping her things in order.
As she grew,I read her as equally messy in social skills.
She was always a brilliant student and a person with a large kind heart.Though that is hard for strangers to discover,from her demeanour.
I remember many years ago,she came home very sad on a friday.Sad,because a boy in her class,she hardly even knew, had received a thrashing from his class teacher,for stealing a game.'Why beat him in front of everyone else?Why such cruelty over a small thing!'.Despite all our efforts,we couldnt get her over that incident all weekend.
Nowadays corporal punishment is looked down upon,and quite rightly.But even a decade ago,in some schools here,it was commonplace for children to occasionally receive a smack on the cheek for little things like doing a sum wrong.
Anyway,lets get back to her account again.
When she didnt like something or someone,she could be very curt,almost scary.Though within her,she carried a soft large sensitive little girl.Yes,she was too emotional and had never learnt to hide it.Sometimes when she acted like a grown up, matured girl,I invariably made fun of her.Most of those times we ended up madly pulling each other's hair.Grownups had to intervene to stop our fights.
I often had doubts whether she would be able to take care of herself if she were alone.More than once,I told her this.
So,when she moved to a city far away,I pictured her living in a dirty house and sleeping in a bedroom which resembled a pigsty more than a room.Many times I had seriously planned to go and arrange her things for her.
Finally after a year,I could go for a short visit.
That was when,for the first time,my 'little silly' sprang many surprises on me.
Firstly,she drove quite well from the airport to her house.No roadrages,no overtakes.
Then,I entered a speckless house.Every little thing was in its place.
I inspected the remotest corners of the house,but couldnt find a spot of dust anywhere.
There hung many beautiful framed pictures on the stairway.All of which had been taken by her!
The interiors were beautifully done,the decor was perfect.I was amazed at such taste and sense of aesthetics.
She had even cooked so well!
For the next few days ,I watched her.
She is so disciplined now,so well coordinated.She wears a suit to work,talks and walks like a lady.
I didnt see her get hysteric or hyper or too excited or laugh out too loud even once during my stay.She seemed so composed,in full control of her emotions!
Good to see how that little girl has grown now.She has matured so much in just a year!
But did I feel a bit disappointed,that I didnt even have to arrange her closet?Did I miss my messy,forgetful,emotional,quarreling sister?
She has always been very unorganized.Almost every morning,she turned up in a pair of unmatched socks at school.Always forgetful and very callous about keeping her things in order.
As she grew,I read her as equally messy in social skills.
She was always a brilliant student and a person with a large kind heart.Though that is hard for strangers to discover,from her demeanour.
I remember many years ago,she came home very sad on a friday.Sad,because a boy in her class,she hardly even knew, had received a thrashing from his class teacher,for stealing a game.'Why beat him in front of everyone else?Why such cruelty over a small thing!'.Despite all our efforts,we couldnt get her over that incident all weekend.
Nowadays corporal punishment is looked down upon,and quite rightly.But even a decade ago,in some schools here,it was commonplace for children to occasionally receive a smack on the cheek for little things like doing a sum wrong.
Anyway,lets get back to her account again.
When she didnt like something or someone,she could be very curt,almost scary.Though within her,she carried a soft large sensitive little girl.Yes,she was too emotional and had never learnt to hide it.Sometimes when she acted like a grown up, matured girl,I invariably made fun of her.Most of those times we ended up madly pulling each other's hair.Grownups had to intervene to stop our fights.
I often had doubts whether she would be able to take care of herself if she were alone.More than once,I told her this.
So,when she moved to a city far away,I pictured her living in a dirty house and sleeping in a bedroom which resembled a pigsty more than a room.Many times I had seriously planned to go and arrange her things for her.
Finally after a year,I could go for a short visit.
That was when,for the first time,my 'little silly' sprang many surprises on me.
Firstly,she drove quite well from the airport to her house.No roadrages,no overtakes.
Then,I entered a speckless house.Every little thing was in its place.
I inspected the remotest corners of the house,but couldnt find a spot of dust anywhere.
There hung many beautiful framed pictures on the stairway.All of which had been taken by her!
The interiors were beautifully done,the decor was perfect.I was amazed at such taste and sense of aesthetics.
She had even cooked so well!
For the next few days ,I watched her.
She is so disciplined now,so well coordinated.She wears a suit to work,talks and walks like a lady.
I didnt see her get hysteric or hyper or too excited or laugh out too loud even once during my stay.She seemed so composed,in full control of her emotions!
Good to see how that little girl has grown now.She has matured so much in just a year!
But did I feel a bit disappointed,that I didnt even have to arrange her closet?Did I miss my messy,forgetful,emotional,quarreling sister?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Touch Not Screen
In recent times,I cannot recall a single occasion when I walked up to the television set and pressed the button on,myself.
When I join the rest of the house at the dinner table,the t.v is already chirping.That is the only time I watch it awhile.
The old familiar pressing urgency to be at home at a particular hour,for a T.V show has quietly left me,over time.
Only a few years back,things were so different.
As a child,I remember my family owned a black and white T.V that came in a wooden box with a shutter.
If,any day,the wind blew too hard,the antenna on the rooftop rotated while the picture trembled onscreen.We (the kids in the house)dashed up the stairs, struggled on with the rod,and bully the antenna back to its proper position.
When I was a little older,I remember one day parents brought home a colour T.V.
It was a Videocon 21 inch set.Few weeks later we even got a video cassette recorder.
Back in those days,only a few families owned a colour T.V,fewer still had a video player.
The VCR,in particular,brought us instant stardom in our neighbourhood.
Whenever dad got any children's movie,all the kids who lived closeby,were invited to watch.
Those evenings were so special.
All my friends finished their homework early and came over to my house to watch a 'Sonar Kella' or a 'Sound Of Music' or a 'Born Free'.
Next day and for a few more days to come,all we spoke of,on our way back from school was ,that movie we saw.
Gradually,T.V ,video players,cable channels ,private satellite television invaded into many more households.
Initially those were exciting too.Movies round the clock,sports channels,famous television shows dubbed in regional languages.
It was overwhelming.Overnight,my preference changed from some old 'doordarshan' show to a 3D animation picture.
I nearly knew all the show timings by heart.
Then,there were even more animations,more movies,more channels.
My attention grew shorter with every new show,till,there came a time when after 5 mins of flipping channels,I thought best to turn the set off.
Parents changed the old Videocon for a brand new BPL Sanyo.A few years later they got a Sony LCD installed in the living room.
In these years,the kids grew up,parents got even more busy with their lives.
Interestingly,the number of television sets ,in our house ,grew too.
We now have a TV in each of the bedrooms and at one big LCD in the living room.
But we are too squeezed for time to watch.
I spot a bright light here.I may not have a real date for days,no worries - I just have to remember how the channel companies are fighting over me,a slice of my time?
Keeping me in good humor,means everything to them.
When I join the rest of the house at the dinner table,the t.v is already chirping.That is the only time I watch it awhile.
The old familiar pressing urgency to be at home at a particular hour,for a T.V show has quietly left me,over time.
Only a few years back,things were so different.
As a child,I remember my family owned a black and white T.V that came in a wooden box with a shutter.
If,any day,the wind blew too hard,the antenna on the rooftop rotated while the picture trembled onscreen.We (the kids in the house)dashed up the stairs, struggled on with the rod,and bully the antenna back to its proper position.
When I was a little older,I remember one day parents brought home a colour T.V.
It was a Videocon 21 inch set.Few weeks later we even got a video cassette recorder.
Back in those days,only a few families owned a colour T.V,fewer still had a video player.
The VCR,in particular,brought us instant stardom in our neighbourhood.
Whenever dad got any children's movie,all the kids who lived closeby,were invited to watch.
Those evenings were so special.
All my friends finished their homework early and came over to my house to watch a 'Sonar Kella' or a 'Sound Of Music' or a 'Born Free'.
Next day and for a few more days to come,all we spoke of,on our way back from school was ,that movie we saw.
Gradually,T.V ,video players,cable channels ,private satellite television invaded into many more households.
Initially those were exciting too.Movies round the clock,sports channels,famous television shows dubbed in regional languages.
It was overwhelming.Overnight,my preference changed from some old 'doordarshan' show to a 3D animation picture.
I nearly knew all the show timings by heart.
Then,there were even more animations,more movies,more channels.
My attention grew shorter with every new show,till,there came a time when after 5 mins of flipping channels,I thought best to turn the set off.
Parents changed the old Videocon for a brand new BPL Sanyo.A few years later they got a Sony LCD installed in the living room.
In these years,the kids grew up,parents got even more busy with their lives.
Interestingly,the number of television sets ,in our house ,grew too.
We now have a TV in each of the bedrooms and at one big LCD in the living room.
But we are too squeezed for time to watch.
I spot a bright light here.I may not have a real date for days,no worries - I just have to remember how the channel companies are fighting over me,a slice of my time?
Keeping me in good humor,means everything to them.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Come again another day
That week ended too soon.As a routine,each day,a few hours were devoted to endless squabbling.Then there were the tantrums at the shopping malls,crankiness about not hiring a cab,fuss about the much needed haircut.
Then came the days when we just lazily lay down and gazed at the sky..tired with everything..Then followed the humming in my ears - lets go somewhere for a day atleast (read: 'Take a day off from work').Finally,we did go for a short trip on a sunday.
At last,we were beginning to warm up to each other , the squabbles reduced to weary shrugs,tantrums downsized to sighs and the fuss became 'okay,but just because you insist' smile.Even the overcooked food seemed tolerable.We were just beginning to have some fun when he received the marching orders..
Alas,the fun didnt even get a good start.Waiting again for the sun to shine brightly in my sky,the stars to pop up at night..
Then came the days when we just lazily lay down and gazed at the sky..tired with everything..Then followed the humming in my ears - lets go somewhere for a day atleast (read: 'Take a day off from work').Finally,we did go for a short trip on a sunday.
At last,we were beginning to warm up to each other , the squabbles reduced to weary shrugs,tantrums downsized to sighs and the fuss became 'okay,but just because you insist' smile.Even the overcooked food seemed tolerable.We were just beginning to have some fun when he received the marching orders..
Alas,the fun didnt even get a good start.Waiting again for the sun to shine brightly in my sky,the stars to pop up at night..
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